Lonely Man’s Guide To Picking A Fake Vagina

Fake vagina review

It’s a lonely night, one of many for our lonely man but tonight is especially frustrating because he’s horny as hell! But what’s a man to do with no woman for relief? He could grab the toilet paper and lube like he’s done countless times before but tonight he’s feeling different, he craves something a bit more satisfying.  A thought comes to his head, a thought that reminds him of something that he’s always been curious about. What about one of those fake vaginas? He’s seen them on the porn sites he visits but are they really as good as they claim? Do they feel like the real thing?

He decided to dive deeper into the subject and uncover the truth about these male sex toys, but where to start? What should I look for in a fake vagina and who are the main players in this world of pleasure? I’ve heard of Fleshlight but are they the best for my needs? Let’s take a look at what he found.

What are my options…?

When it comes to male masturbators there is a myriad of options available and it was difficult to weed through the endless array of sex toys out there. There were many models that seemed to be of very high quality and some seem less desirable and some even bordered on the ridiculous. It’s safe to say there is something available for every taste. The conclusion that I came to was to stick with the most reputable companies and that should point me in the right direction. After doing a lot of research a few brands rose to the top and I settled on these five dependable brands:

These are the products I conducted my research with and found that they provided me with all the options I needed.  After testing a number of different models over a number of weeks, I’m not a machine! I broke the characteristics of what I’m looking for down to four categories: feel, selection, stealth, and maintenance.

FEEL
Of course this is the first and most important question on every man’s mind. Does it really feel like sex with a real woman or does it feel like you’re banging 3CPO. The honest truth is that it lies somewhere in the middle and depending on your preference it will sit differently along the spectrum.  Don’t get me wrong some of the masturbators feel amazing!  A huge upgrade from evenings with my right hand but I wouldn’t say they feel like a real vagina, although it wasn’t from a lack of trying.  The material on some of the masturbator models such as the Fleshlight are very soft and feel very good to the touch. Some are softer than others but almost all the brands have their own patented material to simulate the feel of a woman’s vagina. I have to admit when they’re used with lubrication it can be a very pleasurable experience.  Some can even be warmed so it doesn’t feel like you’re screwing a cold fish.  It’s clear a lot of thought and innovation has gone into making a better feeling fake vagina.  Who needs advanced weaponry when you can use your brain power to make advanced sex toys!  I think we can all agree it makes for a happier world.

SELECTION
Another surprising aspect of the fake vaginas I tested was the number of options I had, options of all sorts.  Entryways, textures, sizes, and every other option you can think of. If you want masturbator that looks like an alien with heavy suction and an anal entry then I have good news for you. They have it! I personally went with the more conventional models and I still had hundreds of options at my disposal. One major aspect of this I was pleasantly surprised with was the variety of textures.  Bumps, nodules, swerves and spirals of all sorts are incorporated into the sleeves of these units that will put a huge smile on your face.  Besides the textures there are a number of other decisions you will have to make when choosing your male sex toy.  Things such as the type of opening you prefer or how much suction or suction control you desire are things to consider when choosing your male masturbator.  It’s clear to me that the people dreaming up these pleasure tubes really have the users experience in mind and are not just chucking out products for unsuspecting buyers.  Something we can’t say about some industries.

STEALTH
Obviously a sex toy isn’t the best thing to have laying around when your mom pops in for a surprise visit.  If you’re the type to leave sex toys rolling out in the open then a Fleshlight or Tenga might be right sex toy for you.  From my experience those are the most disguised masturbators I’ve come across.  Other fake vaginas seem to be pretty obvious at first glance so it would probably be best to keep them hidden from plain sight.  Many people are familiar with Fleshlight’s flashlight design and it does a good job of concealing the device when it’s not in use but looking at it up close there are some differences from your typical flashlight.  First it’s much larger than your typical flashlight and upon closer inspection it becomes obvious something sordid lies beneath but from a distance it accomplishes what it is designed for and hides the pleasure tube hidden inside.  Tenga on the other hand takes a different approach to their cunning and bypasses the realistic look altogether, focusing on the pleasure aspect of their masturbators.  Some of them look more like table ornaments rather than pleasure tubes and I would be totally oblivious to what they were if I saw them lying on the night stand.  But don’t be fooled by their innocent look because the Tenga masturbators are some of the best feeling in the business.

MAINTENANCE
I can’t express enough how important proper care of your fake vagina is. Especially when it comes to cleaning it after use!  No one would leave a used condom lying around the house stinking up the joint so why would you leave a larger smelly piece of rubber lying around?  Cleaning the masturbator thoroughly is extremely important and thankfully the makers of your device made it easy for you.  Almost all the units I came across were designed for repeated use (Tenga has a disposable model), and most can be easily washed with warm water and soap or a cleaning agent.  I would also recommend the assorted refreshing powders available for their masturbators that will keep your device nice and fresh.  Cleaning the fake vagina was very easy and quick, simply use warm running water to rinse and remove all the nasty stuff and let dry completely.  Some will even be pliable enough to flip inside out which makes it even easier to clean.  Point is, the makers have made it simple to clean and maintain these devices so take the time to treat them properly and they will take care of you.

Different strokes for folks so it might take testing a few models to find your favorite but you will eventually find the one that best suits you and you will definitely enjoy the process of finding it.  I know I did! As a follow up to this I will soon be listing my top 5 fake vaginas so watch for that in a future post and happy humping.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *